I spend a lot of time alone. My illness limits my ability to get out of the house, which means that I am often home by myself. And much of the time, that’s OK. I’ve learned to take advantage of the time spent by myself, when I have the freedom to make my own plan for the day.
Still, I thrive the most when I can be with other people. There’s a big part of me that needs to interact, encourage, and “just be” with the people I love. I am a people person– there’s no doubt about that. When I was able to work, I chose jobs that focused on building relationships with people and helping them improve their lives. I feel most alive when I am invested in purposeful relationships.
This week I’ve spent time in Illinois with my husband’s family. We don’t have extravagant plans, and I like that. There’s very little pressure to do anything in particular, which allows me to do whatever is realistic. After spending most of my days alone (until S gets home from work), I am thrilled to spend my days with loved ones for a while. It surprises me what all I’ve missed as I’ve adjusted to spending most of my day by myself. This week, I am soaking in each conversation and enjoying every shared meal. I’m enjoying cookies baked by my 11 year old brother-in-law, sipping on peppermint tea from my sister-in-law, and savoring the Orange Julius and latte made especially for me. I am grateful for the time spent teaching my younger sister-in-law how to knit on the loom, trips outside of the house (despite the cold weather), and for one-on-one time with some of my husband’s siblings.
I think it’s important to acknowledge the good things in our lives and to soak in the beauty that is found in building relationships. None of us can make it through life alone. We need each other, even if it’s difficult to admit sometimes. We need hugs and smiles and laughter. We need loved ones to comfort us when we cry and celebrate with us when we succeed.
So today I am challenging myself to look for reasons to be grateful. I am asking for help when I need it, and I am looking for the goodness around me, even when I am in physical pain. Because the goodness is there; it’s always there. I just need to choose to embrace it and enjoy the time I have with people I love.
I want to share some practical style tips for looking good, even when you feel less than your best. Being sick can be difficult and exhausting. For most people, illness means messy hair, ratty sweatpants, and an overall feeling of yuckiness. After all, when we feel terrible, it’s tough to even consider putting our limited energy into showering or getting dressed in “real clothes.”
But in my journey with chronic illness, I’ve found that my self-esteem takes a dip when I look the way I feel. There is not a day that goes by that I feel 100%. Sometimes I daydream about what I would do if I had 24 hours of feeling “normal” again. But I don’t want to look as pale, bone-tired and discouraged as I feel. So I made the decision to change my routine and put some effort into my appearance again. Yes, there are some days I spend in my pajamas, but that’s not typical for me anymore. I almost always shower, fix my hair, and put together an outfit. I don’t do it to impress anyone or to live up to a particular beauty standard; I do it because it helps me feel more human. When I like the way I look, it’s easier for me to engage in the day and feel motivated to do the best I can with what I’ve been given.
Style Tips for the Chronically Ill
- Choose functional clothing. You can look and feel good while still considering your needs. Embrace your personal style and get creative! For example, if you are overly sensitive to certain textures or fabrics, don’t buy them. You’ll look and feel much better in clothing that makes your life better, not more complicated. I wear pants with loose, elastic waist bands most of the time because jeans are not comfortable for me. I’ve taken the time to find fun, printed pants for myself, similar to these.
- Wear layers. Symptoms aren’t always predictable, and neither is the weather. I suggest being prepared by incorporating the use of layers into your wardrobe. I often wear a fleece jacket, cardigan, or loose sweater over a tank top or blouse because my body doesn’t regulate temperature very well. Sometimes I even wear long johns under my pants! Since I can go from sweating to freezing in a matter of minutes, I keep that in mind when I choose my clothing. I tend to wear solid colored outer layers that I can easily mix and match them with my tops, which allows me to have more outfit combinations to choose from.
- Wear clothing that doesn’t wrinkle easily. Let’s be honest, ironing is a time-consuming chore and it requires a good deal of energy. Those of us with chronic illness have to carefully plan what we do, and eliminating certain chores makes life easier. When you’re looking for new clothing, look at the tag that outlines how to care for the item. If it requires dry cleaning, regular ironing, or special washing, consider putting it back on the rack. If you fall in love with the item, invest in a clothing steamer, or at least some Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray. In my opinion, a clothing steamer makes it easier to target and eliminate clothing wrinkles instead of ironing the entire item. And Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray gets out set-in wrinkles like a charm!
- Liven things up with accessories. When I want to add something special to an outfit, I put on a scarf, nail polish, statement jewelry, or some other touch of color. I instantly feel a bit happier when I do it. I promise that the little bit of extra effort goes a long way in feeling brighter and more put-together. Also think about adding some bright colors to your surroundings, especially if you spend a lot of time at home.
Living with chronic illness is difficult; there’s no sugar-coating it. But taking some time each day to focus on yourself helps you feel a bit better and more in-control of your day. And I think that makes a big difference!
(To read about 10 Must-Haves for Living with Chronic Illness, click here.)